Thursday, December 30, 2010

Historical Evidence

I thought you all should know, apparently Longman has been pestering the ladies for quite some time as evidenced by this photograph Brock discovered in the archives. Even the fish are appalled. That ain't right.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Someone let us have a video camera

For songs from the latest SMS album "I'll Never Give Up On You". We started making these videos in July with the intent to release our album this way. It has been a very fun and rewarding process especially cuz I got to hang out lots with all the people in them. Three more to go! Our next project is to get a book together as a sort of companion guide/album liner notes/wearable readable edible origami.

Communications From Gloria Steinem's Uterus from Strip Mall Seizures on Vimeo.

So Beautiful All Dead from Strip Mall Seizures on Vimeo.

Ungracious Host from Strip Mall Seizures on Vimeo.

Mahogany Podium from Strip Mall Seizures on Vimeo.

Human Moment from Strip Mall Seizures on Vimeo.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Econanananama Principles

This is the result of using a relaxing herbal blend to go to sleep the night before my microeconomics final. Brock pointed out some key subject nouns that I had omitted and other clarifying punctuation. I stuck em in there, no sweat. Everyone needs an editor.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Longman lives in nightmare shadows

Always right about to sup you from behind something when you least expect it.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

"I'm for, how do they say, soft misanthropy" - zizek

Doorbuster: Come on, you apes. Bust the door. You know you want to.

We find ourselves again here, at this ruthless time of year, when we like to throw a temp worker or two under the ceremonial killing blade to make sure the holiday shopping season gets kicked off with frothing, pumping blood lust throbbing in our veins.

New York Target Black Friday 2010:

Walmart Little Rock, AK Black Friday 2011 - waffle iron frenzy

Walmart Sacramento Black Friday 2010 - unruly crowd evacuated.

Madison Toys R Us Black Friday 2010 - Cutting, gun threat, arrest, no Christmas toy

And Long Island Walmart Black Friday 2008 - stampede, 1 employee dead. But why change a policy that works?

The only lesson the news media manages to extract from these stories that reliably come one after another every holiday season is that human nature is repulsive and we should tut-tut at those trashy people who behave like savages to save a few dollars. No tut-tuts for CEO's and marketing execs who design these inane events at 3am with their stupid bracelets that make the christmas-present-buying-hoards feel like they're in a circle pit at Warped Tour. If us simple monkeys are so predictable with our human nature, why engineer the same riot for us every single year? I think it's very clear. To get them pig faces at the expense of our dignity and well being.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Self-Retrospective: It's been long enough that I am also bewildered and amused

This old thing cracked me up, so I'll share with you. The last page reads: raison d'twat. It took me a couple minutes to figure that out. Do you know who these people are?

I think this is the second foldy book comic I made. It's to help the scientists in the future figure out why we walk that way. The lady says "Were you, like, injured in the war or something?"

This is terrifying because it is a true reoccurring nightmare that I really truly have every few years and it's bone chilling every time. I made this book for Matt for his bday a while back. This dream always involves the same plot twist -- whatever house I am living in has an extensive ancient labrynthian endless catacombs of rooms and my housemates and I have never explored beyond the portion that we rent and then we decide to just go for it because it's interesting and of course HP Lovecraft has been up to something in there. In this particular episode of this real true dream I had, there was a horrifying ghastly figure at the bottom of the staircase, but it was just Dain for some reason being extra creepy, so it had a happy ending for once. Two thumbs up, nightmare dream world.

I will be putting up more oldy-foldies as time permits. Stay tewned.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Stay focused

I've always been inspired by the notion of incremental change as a way that earth reality may become less terrifying in the future. I think Prof. Laura Nader presented that idea as a kind of cold comfort after spending the semester destroying everyone's dreams in her famous Controlling Processes course. There is a history of people plugging away at correcting great injustices through small strategic efforts, like maybe in a tiny way voting for the crappy marijuana prop. tomorrow that is expected to fail, just so California and America will understand that there is support for legalizing marijuana and maybe next time it will have a chance. But I'm concerned sometimes that if Team Destroy Injustices is organizing to win skirmishes in the struggle for incremental change, isn't there Team Hateful Right Wing A-Holes who struggles just as vigilantly and passionately, possibly exactly cancelling out our every victory? There's a hateful evil Christian right wing majority Judy rubbing her palms together evily in Utah. She's working so hard to keep the bus line out of her neighborhood and make sure that the war goes on forever, and communists don't get grants and to make sure no spliffs are ever spluffed by Good Judy. Such a hater.

More words about Prop 19: In the end, the courts will interpret the law, big business will find loopholes and other ways to exploit and shit on consumers, and there will be endless other externalities that few of us are clever enough to foresee. When it comes to big idea issues that we really want to move forward like gay rights and sticking a fork in the swollen prison industrial complex full of people who don't need to be there, we need to ignore the nitty gritty details in the wording and send a big clear message that will hopefully get us where we want to be someday: POT -- YES, GAY -- YES, etc. We'll probably end up with some shiny new bullshit, but the world will know we're ready for the big gay yes.

UPDATE: Here's someone else who is also concerned about troublemaker evil Judy:

I think Nader actually said that incremental change is more like when you're an accountant somewhere and you notice something unfair and you blow the whistle. Anyways... I got more things to say about pot laws and their fallout, but my neighbor is screaming in Portuguese and and the ice cream cart guy is dinging his bell and it's most likely too many convoluted words to put here. Should probably go read about government regulatory institutions or whatever.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Equity isn't fair--vote republican

You can get so far in the university and still ask questions like: "Capitalism makes technological innovation happen. Is that super duper great or just super great? Discuss." Not is it true? or can this statement be complicated? but a only the marginal issue of how much?

I often find that my mouth is open but I cannot speak because I'm too confused. I can't comprehend that even in the hallowed institution of higher learning, the premise is so richly debatable. Did you know capitalism saved the miners? It's so like capitalism to build a crappy mine and ignore safety regulations just so it can save some trapped miners later and look like the big hero. What a bitch. But that seems irrelevant to the conversation when they put the question like that.

And then (in a different class) when we're pondering the undisputed side effect if globalization that it leads to monoculture the prof asks: "Should we rather decide not to trade and keep people in other countries poor because we want to be able to visit a place without a Gap?" So many assumptions there. It assumes people people in poor countries's lives will improve if we trade with them and we assume our desire to visit a place without Gap is a valid argument and the only argument against the free market.

And did you know that 95% of economists believe that free market is best for the economy? Every section of that statement is a segment of a centipede gently inching into your ear where it will burrow into your brain and teach you to equate "healthy economy" with "good for people" because, well, it's in the book and you want to get an A and a recommendation letter.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

The future is a lot the same as the present

I have revelations sometimes in my statistics class. But not too often, because I'm usually concentrating really super hard. And still not understanding.

Monday, October 18, 2010


There are so many distractions at school. You think that when you sit down in a computer lab reserved only for graduate students in your department, you'll experience only focused, blazing, hemorrhoidal silence, but then the kids from urban planning start discussing their mapping project that uses BART as its subject and they're talking about how some people can't afford to use BART because they charge a progressive fee based on starting point and destination and they wonder why is the West Oakland station is all red on the data map. I know why, it's because of the bloody blood blood blood that's everywhere, that's why. Blood from a ruined community that was thriving before planning type official aliens tore it down to make way for BART, you know that already. How can I concentrate at a time like this? Talking about my town in such a clinical, dispassionate tone is just fucking with me really. It's a double tragedy—cry now and now later too. And throw a few more in more in there just for the hell of it. Cry way back when too and some in between cries if you have a chance. I was cracking up at Disneyland on the way out of the Indiana Jones ride when I thought about this adjusted drama masks symbol. What a fine tattoo! Tragedy all over the place just like real life. Helen says to proceed with caution because it's too funny and that's bad sometimes. But she's one to talk with "you break it, you buy it" on her ass. HELEN. You've got a lot of nerve.
I was trying to draw some pooh characters from my mind during my economics class. The above is the result. It's kinda scary or whatever. The pooh with the hunny pot ain't bad if I don't mind saying so myself.
P.S. Megan says our transit is racist because the richest people ride Caltrain and get a $12 subsidy per ride and the poorest people ride and the poorest people ride the bus and get a .25 subsidy per ride and the justification is that if the rich, white people on Caltrain start feeling good about how nice transportation is, they'll spend more of their own money of the other kinds too. Racisttttttttsssssssssss. Just make the bus free instead, duh. Like a civilized place.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

What's under Shamu?

A. More Shamus
B. Villain's secret lair
C. Nothing but net
D. God is under my beard
E. Empty, silent, perfectly black space
F. All of the above

Friday, October 1, 2010

Fun with tracing AKA your new chest piece

The Man, Myth and Magic encyclopedia and the Sexual Symbolism: A History of Phallic Worship (written in 1776, with original plates) book are providing me with excellent fodder for tracing and designing your new tattoo. I'm warming up the gun right now. I call this one "Mind Lost in Spiritual Battle with Mystical Dickasus Army". Word. If you care to hear the new SMS album it is available for you to download here. Merry Xmas. Associated art and a physical package with a cassette tape will soon be available on our bandcamp page. The lyrics are already there, as well as stills from the 6 new music videos that we made over the summer for this album. Soon they'll start popping up on youtube/vimeo/etc. I'll be sure to let you know.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Dizney Cube TM

I've been having some pretty marketable ideas that I think I'm gonna try to pitch around while I'm down here, you know. Check it out and let me know what you think. (Concept is of course based on the sci-fi classic film The Cube if you didn't already know. It's a mind fuggler. It'll fuggle your mind. And it's kind of like real life too.)

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Been had colored pencils

Here I was brain storming a little bit for the levels for the video game "Mario 27: You don't belong in this world" but I like it already so I'm sharing my sketchbook mock up. The notion for this game was conceived while lounging with all the hommies at Bakers Beach in SF a few months ago. It was like this:
Mario 27. You know what it's about. It knows what you're about. Click on drawing for big big.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Figurines silhouetted in waning rainbow light

I have so much time right now for the next couple weeks that I can do shit like wait for the precise 10 minute period in the evening when the rainbow comes in my window to take psychedelic photos of members of my desk army. It's so brief and fleeting. I like it. I should dig up my real camera and truly capture those vibrant colors. Word to your momma.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

LA LA Land

snookie gucci melrose
I think the Whole Foods on Fairfax hired a Fabio-look-alike to float gracefully through the store while shoppers bustle around noramlly. Was he real?

The above image is animated. If you can't see that... something wrong wit you.

(Don't get me wrong -- I think I like it here)

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Business hands//Reaching out your hand

Apparently, according to some, dreaming about hairy hands signifies money/business success. It's a chauvinist point of view, of course. My association with hairy hands is different however. It means other people's dads or wizardry or henchmen or lumberjack or an encroaching unexpected journey on the horizon.

Monday, August 30, 2010

I drew this tattoo for you

Man, I wish I could remember the anecdote that accompanied this drawing. I feel like I was travelling at the time... Anyone remember? I think it was funnnnnyyyy.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Packing and finding things

This show was so fun and this flyer exceeds typical standards for excellence in my opinion. We did it with loads of grandiosity back then. Angela Roberts, you played this show. What year was it? I think it was Katrina year because I remember you New Orleans bands went on tour before it happened and you made that crazy tour poster that I think said "lost at sea" and showed some kids floating on raft. Am I right? Evil dark prophecy!

Sunday, August 1, 2010

San Diego is a weird town

This would be sad and awful without the penis drawing. And that it looks like the author was about to mistakenly write "fear of small penises". In the ladies' bathroom at Lestat's.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Leaked internal memos from office meeting

I discovered these alleged documents when clearing out my desk earlier today at the job from which I can no longer be fired. I fuzzed out the most sensitive information, but some critical data can still be identified such as:

1. Wolf man with rose for a mustache
2.Waterbaby waterbaby waterbaby water baby - water baby with stache
3. Surreptitiously animated hamburger
4. Brain storm: baby cage, baby trap, baby zoo
5. Einstein chaos crab
6. Lightbulb squid under pursuit by mocking triangle predator and her brood
7. Liberal fun with Mario world

Friday, July 23, 2010

Look at the carnage

The top image is made by Wyatt obviously. I will turn it into a large impressive poster. I like how the trepidated beast is kind of smiling while its leaking sewage out of its brain. I think it would be a dirty shame to shrink his very detailed pen work down to handbill size, so I made the bottom two at werk yesterday for that purpose. I'm drawing basketball man lately because I'm thinking about the life and times of the great giant man Manute Bol. He was a saint amongst men and he died a few weeks ago. What a cruel injustice. He's the one with legs like stilts. He is thought to have popularized the phrase "my bad" and he donated all six million dollars he earned in the NBA to his people in southern Sudan.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

More pizza surfing

I found these buddies on my desk at work as I'm preparing for my departure. I think I never scanned them because I thought they didn't make any sense, however, upon further review, I think they make perfect sense. Windsurfing on an ice cream cone. Surfing on pizza. It's what dreams are made of.

The text on the first three panels of the lower comic are quotes from NPR and they read: "White culture may be changed forever..." and "...and Vietnam. Congress shouldn't authorize funds for a war they can't pay for" and "grads gets marked as low potential."

Monday, July 19, 2010

Woe is me/Pray for snakes

I'm looking at Understanding Comics and this above is my first result. Maybe the next chapter will cover the proper number of elbows per arm.
Dear Jesus, please bring snakes to this place.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Digi-Anxiety/Night screaming

1. Apparently I'm a lunatic that screams and slaps myself in my sleep.
2. Sometimes my favorite comics I make are the ones that involve me snickering and giggling the whole time when I'm making them, because it tends to be some kind of personal story, and who cares about that besides the people involved? Probably no one, but that's fine, because those are the people looking here I realize (and also international perverts).
3. I've made lots of drawings of myself and other people standing on desk chairs yelling in front of computers.
4. I suspect comics are less automatically hilarious if they're not absurdly badly drawn. Maybe I should have quit when I was further behind.
5. It's funny when people have cartoonish perceptions about their friends' sexual proclivities and I'm pretty sure it's true that Keith still likes to slam his penis in the windowsill over and over.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Thursday, July 1, 2010

100 posts: every one a gem

No wasted kb and mbs here. No, sir. When I'm sitting in my windowless cube, I look at this drawing taped up on my wall for inspiration to keep going and sometimes it's almost too much to bear. Only a few weeks left for me here though. Then I will consume this piece of paper entirely.

Matt Monster left his j-o-b that he's been doing for a couple years at Trader Joe's yesterday, so I drew this mindless insane TJ horse for him to commemorate. You can tell which one is the manager by the shirt that they're wearing. RIP.
Til next time traitor ho. I love you.

Smokin Judy/Justin collab poster for last Strip Mall show EVER. Also last NTP show ever. Everything slips away. Don't try to hold on to anything, because it's probably actually a giant evil ancient monster that will eat you. This artwork is inspired by the UC Berkeley women's gymnastics team. I will never forget you.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Raype Revenge and Pretene Mania Ritual

This is the audience of tenes/pretenes/adults chanting the name of a character in a certain fantasy movie that opened last night before the movie even started. Because they're demented and awesome. And they just want to puffy paint their own custom t-shirts with depraved images and scream bloody murder for no reason. This is obviously not merely about the movie.

Although, it does have an extremely cool raYpe revenge scene in it. One of the characters was made vampire because her maker found her dying in the street after her fiance and his drunk friends had gang raYped her and left her for dead. When she became a vampire she systematically hunted them down and killed them, saving her fiance for last. He had a team of police protecting his door because he knew she was coming and he was terrified. She effortlessly ripped them all to shreds and burst into his room in a wedding dress and killed his ass. Pretty cool for a teeny bopper movie.
P.S. Had to alter title and certain words to keep the pedos from stopping by

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

I believe in sharkigarchy and unusual weaponry

I looked at every single panel comic that Brad Neely has posted on his website and then I did automatic drawing and the above happened. I don't remember doing it. WTF? He so funny. He really got into my mind with the zebra one. Malia is planning to tattoo the "nun with whore-puppet" one soon. I hope so.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

When the world is your snot rag

In this video George Bush wipes his hand on Bill Clinton's shirt after shaking hands with a Haitian person:
In this video George Bush wipes his glasses on some lady's sweater during a talk show:

I suspect the world may look like this to him.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Suspiria: An Alternative Ending

This is how I would have handled the situation.

(I don't get paid to not misspell "existence")

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

vacay dudelz

Here are a few selections from my vacation road trip sketchbook. Lots of truck stops, weird pale lumpy fashion-deprived people, and then some shows with Nero and Mincemeat in cool places like Ohio and Tennessee. Most of these drawings have a remarkable story affiliated with them, but not all. Like bird/bear/snake towards the end, that's nothing, however, anything with dicks all over it, that's cuz we stayed at Ruth's house, which is a penis museum and when I closed my eyes at night all I could see was neon rainbow dongs doing synchronized dances on my brain. Sorry I wrote "jizz bib" in there somewhere.
I also made some funny petite comic profiles of a few people I met. I may remix them a bit to make them more coherent for other people. They look kinda mean right now and that's not my intention. We'll see. I did include one profile of a guy, Hans, cuz well, I'm not too concerned about accidentally degrading his character... He's already a real piece of work on his own.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Good things come to those who wait for two weeks

I'm referring to this jiva portrait I just got in the mail. Marvelous!

Behold: my immortal essence as imagined by Jim Woodring. So cool.

When I found this letter, I felt almost exactly like this for so many reasons:

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

More nebraska

Scary ass mc d-bag is riddled with holes, faded, jaded and missing a hand. Terrifying.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Ethnic like me

Getting ethnic somewhere in nebraska

observed in Salt Lake City

Univeral ominsex genitals cavepainting

Monday, May 31, 2010


I'm going to be away from my desk for about two weeks. I'll go drive straight across the country with Brock's band to see them kill it in Ohio, Indiana, and Tennessee. I'll then leave them, after experiencing the best parts of the country, and go watch my dad turn 65. I made a couple merch signs for them. Here they are:

Also, when I was leafing through my records earlier today, I stumbled upon this "grow a bear" document. I thought I would give it to the internet here in this way. Done.