Monday, February 3, 2014

This is a bro's world

I actually saw this happen from my apartment window in Sacramento a few months ago. The text is only conjecture but it was certainly the feeling. This was a Maximum Rocknroll Friday Fuckin Funny a couple months ago originally posted here:

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Painting on walls is hard and fun

Me and a motley crew of adults and children fixed the mural in Bethany and Stephen's backyard. It used to be all cute and for babies and then we painted horrifying monsters and other ghastly things all over it. Obviously my main contribution is the shamu with the trail of bloodied trainers behind it. I might have done the witch as well. Young Kaelib painted a pacman/wheel of cheese hanging from an eyeball for no reason at all. What's wrong with the boy?

Friday, October 4, 2013

Due to the lapse in federal government funding, this website is not available.

Behold! My latest batch of drawings for MRR's Friday Fuckin Funnies series. 

You guys, I've got some shit to say about pandas. They're no good at procreating. They only bone like four days a year. Despite their lack of game, I would still like to be the guy who dresses up in a panda costume and feeds the baby. Actually never mind I take it back, it's too creepy.

This cautionary panel on fraud is a more play on an old theme to be found here.

 This is a painting I like to call "My Weakness." It's inspired by the song Shoop by Salt n Pepa. Also by hanging out in Nederland with Helen, Cathy, Stanley, and birthday bitchface Jason. We had so much fun and we were so witty and clever and gay there together. Remember?

Friday, September 6, 2013

Time! In quaaludes and red wine

How does it happen? I did that nice comic for MRR a minute ago (or maximum measles mumps and rubella, as I think of it) and suddenly several weeks have gone by and I've contributed several more. Have a look at these three. Let me know if you think of a name for the series. Maybe it's Crudely Drawn Penis, but maybe it's That's a Trap or Traps Ahead or Sharks Everywhere Including in Your Mouth or I don't know, what do you think?
I saw a sheriff from the Central Valley going on and on about what a big problem copper theft is down there and how people are making off with the most remarkable and unlikely items for purposes of recycling and, according to captain piggy pants, purchasing methamphetamine. He was particularly upset that a police traffic control tower at a training facility had somehow been stolen. Nothing is safe! I think it's pretty funny. Lots and lots of legislation is out there right now trying to solve the municipal nuisance of metal theft/recycling. Can't wait to find out what the next way to make a few bucks becomes. Remember when Apgar's water pipes were stolen twice in one day? I do. Such industrious, skilled thieves. In Russia they steal whole roads and shit though, so these fools need to step up their game really.
I need to get on the NSA theme again. And draw fewer faces. So many ugly faces. Definitely drawing more toasters from now on.

Friday, August 23, 2013

I made it, you eat it.

I'm pleased to say, the Maximum Rocknroll website posted this little gem in its Friday Fuckin' Funnies last week. I'll have another comic on a similar theme there today. Fun! The filthy shaved gerbils pictured above are making utterances that I like to dream are being overheard by the prying ears of the clearly perv'd out voyeurs employed by the federal government for the purposes of "national security." Yeah right. More like national... I don't know where I'm going with that. The particularly dirty bits were obviously imagined with the help of Kevin cuz he iz nazzzsty.
Why is life such a cruel trickster? These guys. Always vying for power. I suspect "laugh now" is just around the corner. It's been "cry later" for a while now. "Whens it my turn?" -Ariel

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Drawing Night: Success

 The book called "Joy of Sex" is old, so I have embarked on a effort to update it. For the benefit of humanity. More info to come.
This is the right way for women to ride horses. So the whole load blows out.

Monday, May 28, 2012

The Tenderloin is some real shit

Here are some selected scenes from a real life event that happened to Mariam from MRR magazine. You can read about it in the June issue. It's an amazing story about Ohio tourists trying to get some big city action and then getting the Tenderloin treatment. I had to do a small illustration in its honor.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Science Friction

Tupac's "hologram" may go on tour.

You guys, the internets gave me chills today. That never happens. Cats flying. Babies rapping. Who cares? I can skillfully ignore even the most impossible, mind boggling, and profound vids/pix/blurbs shared online. But this reincarnated Tupac is something new and different. I've been a fan for a long time (until I just found out a couple weeks ago that he was a rapist - BUMMER). It was amazing to see CGI Tupac doing choreographed moves with Snoop. I can't wait to see "holograms" of Hitler and Michael Jackson walking down Hollywood Blvd. But that's not the most interesting part.

When Tupac burst into light and disappeared (pretty cool), it was easy to imagine the epic stage show that could be produced with this technology. Flawless lasers and dragons and Britney Spears making out with Jesus Christ all throbbing in time with the jams. Can you imagine?! It would be like the Stone Mountain Lasershow times a billion! And how much more infinitely manageable would that be than a real big time concert tour? No tour buses. No bitchy divas or demanding entourages. No riders!?? They could just download the whole night's bundle of images to project and be done with the whole unnecessary, extravagant shit show spectacle. OBSOLETE.

But then you would never see Courtney Love throw her bra into the audience and then demand that someone else give her their bra because she felt self conscious. Or see a groupie megafan slowly grab hold of Garth Brook's crotch which he then removes equally slowly with full composure. Or hear the amazing between song banter of Blixa telling the audience that the waste basket he's been banging on has been around the world 7 times and then saucily, germanishly asking how many times the audience has been around the world.

Give me wardrobe malfunctions or give me death! I like hearing about greedy, big baby rockstars terrible demands. I also like lasers. And that unnamed feeling when you first interact with a new technology that you can tell will soon be ubiquitous. What shall we call that feeling? Future—I'm ready for you!

I predict Jesus holograms in those mega neo born again churches in like 5 seconds.