Monday, January 24, 2011

What do you want to do now that you've vanquished your enemies?

As many of you may know, if you were born in America and your parents were born in another country, that makes you a first generation American. And that's almost a full citizen, but there are still a few basic qualifications that must be regularly maintained to retain your citizenship. One of those is that you have to watch certain films selected by the U.S. Senate's immigration naturalization committee or the constitution or whatever to fill you with a sense of national pride and belonging. You have to watch at least three of them every year or you get the boot. Movies like Sound of Music or anything with John Wayne or Arnold in it. This last weekend in an effort to fulfill my quota (cutting it close, schools been keeping me busy, eek!) I watched Die Hard. I liked it because at the end when Bruce Willis finally kills all the Germans and Swedes and is covered in soot and gore, he makes out with his estranged wife really hard. A good old fashioned American blood hump is called for. In Germany it's poo, but here it's blood and guts. I know that.

(Pubes or dick smoke? You be the judge.)

Sunday, January 16, 2011

The Sound of Our Own Voices

The Sound of Our Own Voices tape1 by cindileper

This is the first of four "best of" tapes from Helen and my's radio show on Berkeley Liberation Radio. Originally broadcast live in 2007 for a living room full of stoned oogles, but now available to YOU at your leisure with the power and convenience of technology. Sit back and enjoy being read aloud to from a wide variety of texts we considered worthwhile. This episode features inspired readings from the documentary film "Pumping Up", the novel "Et Tu Babe", an interview between pornographer Annie Sprinkle and anti-porn feminist Mae Tyme, select song lyrics from Limp Bizkit, skits meant for Girl Scouts "read by dickheads and morons" (us), transcripts from a rhino's cyber sex chats, and so much more.

Don't read too much into the robot voice. It's boring if there's no voices.

I shall put the other tapes up as I rip them. StAy TuNeD...