Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Leaked internal memos from office meeting


I discovered these alleged documents when clearing out my desk earlier today at the job from which I can no longer be fired. I fuzzed out the most sensitive information, but some critical data can still be identified such as:

1. Wolf man with rose for a mustache
2.Waterbaby waterbaby waterbaby water baby - water baby with stache
3. Surreptitiously animated hamburger
4. Brain storm: baby cage, baby trap, baby zoo
5. Einstein chaos crab
6. Lightbulb squid under pursuit by mocking triangle predator and her brood
7. Liberal fun with Mario world

Friday, July 23, 2010

Look at the carnage



The top image is made by Wyatt obviously. I will turn it into a large impressive poster. I like how the trepidated beast is kind of smiling while its leaking sewage out of its brain. I think it would be a dirty shame to shrink his very detailed pen work down to handbill size, so I made the bottom two at werk yesterday for that purpose. I'm drawing basketball man lately because I'm thinking about the life and times of the great giant man Manute Bol. He was a saint amongst men and he died a few weeks ago. What a cruel injustice. He's the one with legs like stilts. He is thought to have popularized the phrase "my bad" and he donated all six million dollars he earned in the NBA to his people in southern Sudan.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

More pizza surfing


I found these buddies on my desk at work as I'm preparing for my departure. I think I never scanned them because I thought they didn't make any sense, however, upon further review, I think they make perfect sense. Windsurfing on an ice cream cone. Surfing on pizza. It's what dreams are made of.

The text on the first three panels of the lower comic are quotes from NPR and they read: "White culture may be changed forever..." and "...and Vietnam. Congress shouldn't authorize funds for a war they can't pay for" and "grads gets marked as low potential."

Monday, July 19, 2010

Woe is me/Pray for snakes

I'm looking at Understanding Comics and this above is my first result. Maybe the next chapter will cover the proper number of elbows per arm.
Dear Jesus, please bring snakes to this place.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Digi-Anxiety/Night screaming

REAL TRUTH:
1. Apparently I'm a lunatic that screams and slaps myself in my sleep.
2. Sometimes my favorite comics I make are the ones that involve me snickering and giggling the whole time when I'm making them, because it tends to be some kind of personal story, and who cares about that besides the people involved? Probably no one, but that's fine, because those are the people looking here I realize (and also international perverts).
3. I've made lots of drawings of myself and other people standing on desk chairs yelling in front of computers.
4. I suspect comics are less automatically hilarious if they're not absurdly badly drawn. Maybe I should have quit when I was further behind.
5. It's funny when people have cartoonish perceptions about their friends' sexual proclivities and I'm pretty sure it's true that Keith still likes to slam his penis in the windowsill over and over.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Thursday, July 1, 2010

100 posts: every one a gem

No wasted kb and mbs here. No, sir. When I'm sitting in my windowless cube, I look at this drawing taped up on my wall for inspiration to keep going and sometimes it's almost too much to bear. Only a few weeks left for me here though. Then I will consume this piece of paper entirely.

Matt Monster left his j-o-b that he's been doing for a couple years at Trader Joe's yesterday, so I drew this mindless insane TJ horse for him to commemorate. You can tell which one is the manager by the shirt that they're wearing. RIP.
Til next time traitor ho. I love you.

Smokin Judy/Justin collab poster for last Strip Mall show EVER. Also last NTP show ever. Everything slips away. Don't try to hold on to anything, because it's probably actually a giant evil ancient monster that will eat you. This artwork is inspired by the UC Berkeley women's gymnastics team. I will never forget you.