Who you gonna call?

Scare Him Erect

If any of you have ever slept in a room with Mattt Monster you know about his terrible condition. It's like bunking with Linda Blair if ya know what I mean. He suffers from sleep insanity. Screaming, kicking, maniacal laughter--the works. It's really sad. Tina has to wrap him up real good so he doesn't hurt himself and others. The above is a medical illustration of him with his equipment: Head cone, straight jacket, and a ball gag.
These two buddies are the result of team work between Shayna, Alexis, and myself last week during our artist retreat in San Diego. While I was doing this I was NOT working devotedly and without interruption on my map-making midterm project for school and it subsequently sucked a fat one. We make sacrifices for art. Can you find the penid?

I'm soooo busy with school but I have many drawings to put here. It will be a project for spring break. After Cancun of course.

That reminds me of an oldie but a goodie. One from the vaults (psst it's true story about John S):

What do you want to do now that you've vanquished your enemies?

As many of you may know, if you were born in America and your parents were born in another country, that makes you a first generation American. And that's almost a full citizen, but there are still a few basic qualifications that must be regularly maintained to retain your citizenship. One of those is that you have to watch certain films selected by the U.S. Senate's immigration naturalization committee or the constitution or whatever to fill you with a sense of national pride and belonging. You have to watch at least three of them every year or you get the boot. Movies like Sound of Music or anything with John Wayne or Arnold in it. This last weekend in an effort to fulfill my quota (cutting it close, schools been keeping me busy, eek!) I watched Die Hard. I liked it because at the end when Bruce Willis finally kills all the Germans and Swedes and is covered in soot and gore, he makes out with his estranged wife really hard. A good old fashioned American blood hump is called for. In Germany it's poo, but here it's blood and guts. I know that.

(Pubes or dick smoke? You be the judge.)

The Sound of Our Own Voices

The Sound of Our Own Voices tape1 by cindileper

This is the first of four "best of" tapes from Helen and my's radio show on Berkeley Liberation Radio. Originally broadcast live in 2007 for a living room full of stoned oogles, but now available to YOU at your leisure with the power and convenience of technology. Sit back and enjoy being read aloud to from a wide variety of texts we considered worthwhile. This episode features inspired readings from the documentary film "Pumping Up", the novel "Et Tu Babe", an interview between pornographer Annie Sprinkle and anti-porn feminist Mae Tyme, select song lyrics from Limp Bizkit, skits meant for Girl Scouts "read by dickheads and morons" (us), transcripts from a rhino's cyber sex chats, and so much more.

Don't read too much into the robot voice. It's boring if there's no voices.

I shall put the other tapes up as I rip them. StAy TuNeD...

Historical Evidence

I thought you all should know, apparently Longman has been pestering the ladies for quite some time as evidenced by this photograph Brock discovered in the archives. Even the fish are appalled. That ain't right.

Someone let us have a video camera

For songs from the latest SMS album "I'll Never Give Up On You". We started making these videos in July with the intent to release our album this way. It has been a very fun and rewarding process especially cuz I got to hang out lots with all the people in them. Three more to go! Our next project is to get a book together as a sort of companion guide/album liner notes/wearable readable edible origami.

Communications From Gloria Steinem's Uterus from Strip Mall Seizures on Vimeo.

So Beautiful All Dead from Strip Mall Seizures on Vimeo.

Ungracious Host from Strip Mall Seizures on Vimeo.

Mahogany Podium from Strip Mall Seizures on Vimeo.

Human Moment from Strip Mall Seizures on Vimeo.

Econanananama Principles

This is the result of using a relaxing herbal blend to go to sleep the night before my microeconomics final. Brock pointed out some key subject nouns that I had omitted and other clarifying punctuation. I stuck em in there, no sweat. Everyone needs an editor.

Longman lives in nightmare shadows

Always right about to sup you from behind something when you least expect it.

Open publication - Free publishing - More longman

"I'm for, how do they say, soft misanthropy" - zizek

Doorbuster: Come on, you apes. Bust the door. You know you want to.

We find ourselves again here, at this ruthless time of year, when we like to throw a temp worker or two under the ceremonial killing blade to make sure the holiday shopping season gets kicked off with frothing, pumping blood lust throbbing in our veins.

New York Target Black Friday 2010:

Walmart Little Rock, AK Black Friday 2011 - waffle iron frenzy

Walmart Sacramento Black Friday 2010 - unruly crowd evacuated.

Madison Toys R Us Black Friday 2010 - Cutting, gun threat, arrest, no Christmas toy

Los Cerritos Mall Black Friday 2010 - Fight/gunshots/chair throwing in food court during "Midnight Madness"

And Long Island Walmart Black Friday 2008 - stampede, 1 employee dead. But why change a policy that works?

The only lesson the news media manages to extract from these stories that reliably come one after another every holiday season is that human nature is repulsive and we should tut-tut at those trashy people who behave like savages to save a few dollars. No tut-tuts for CEO's and marketing execs who design these inane events at 3am with their stupid bracelets that make the christmas-present-buying-hoards feel like they're in a circle pit at Warped Tour. If us simple monkeys are so predictable with our human nature, why engineer the same riot for us every single year? I think it's very clear. To get them pig faces at the expense of our dignity and well being.

Self-Retrospective: It's been long enough that I am also bewildered and amused

This old thing cracked me up, so I'll share with you. The last page reads: raison d'twat. It took me a couple minutes to figure that out. Do you know who these people are?

I think this is the second foldy book comic I made. It's to help the scientists in the future figure out why we walk that way. The lady says "Were you, like, injured in the war or something?"

This is terrifying because it is a true reoccurring nightmare that I really truly have every few years and it's bone chilling every time. I made this book for Matt for his bday a while back. This dream always involves the same plot twist -- whatever house I am living in has an extensive ancient labrynthian endless catacombs of rooms and my housemates and I have never explored beyond the portion that we rent and then we decide to just go for it because it's interesting and of course HP Lovecraft has been up to something in there. In this particular episode of this real true dream I had, there was a horrifying ghastly figure at the bottom of the staircase, but it was just Dain for some reason being extra creepy, so it had a happy ending for once. Two thumbs up, nightmare dream world.

I will be putting up more oldy-foldies as time permits. Stay tewned.